However, as much as Meredith’s big stride on the road to recovery was thrilling for her friends and family at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, it was bittersweet for both Meredith and fans, who know that Meredith regaining consciousness means bidding a final goodbye to her husband, Derek Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey). After all, Derek has been dead for years, since the end of Season 11. Meredith’s (Mc)dreamy beach, where she could hover peacefully between life and death, was the only place she could see him again, along with several other dearly departed Grey’s Anatomy characters. But at least if Meredith and Derek had to say goodbye for the last time, they were able to finally give that goodbye the time and tenderness it deserved. When Derek died, they were robbed of those last moments together, due to gross malpractice on the part of Derek’s doctors. But in “Good as Hell,” they were able to say all the things to one another that they never got the chance to share while Derek was alive. Their final beach excursion together started with the couple talking about the day Derek died, during which he told her, “the worst part was knowing they were getting it wrong.” Of course, he’s referring to the fatal episode “How to Save a Life,” which was largely narrated by Derek himself, enumerating his doctors’ numerous errors as they missed the crucial scans that could have saved his life. “I didn’t want to leave you,” he assures Meredith, but knew that there came a point where he couldn’t fight death any longer. “Dying is exhausting,” Derek admits, which has been a running theme of many of Meredith’s beach conversations, and one of the main reasons she appears so reluctant to leave. After years of death and disappointment and ambition and success, Meredith is tired, and the idea of finally being able to rest is appealing. “There comes a point where the desire to rest overrides the desire to live,” Derek says, before telling Meredith that her final words to him “gave me everything I needed until my last breath.” The couple then goes on to discuss their kids, with Meredith making the case that their kids are resilient and will be okay, while Derek insists that they still need her, joking that they don’t want the trauma of losing a parent to turn their kids into his sister Amelia (Caterina Scorsone), who went into an extended dark period after their father was murdered—a pretty dark and twisty joke, to be sure, but appropriate for his dark and twisty wife. Meredith then asks, indirectly, if it’s hard for him to see her move on and date other men, but Derek assures her that “it’s harder watching you be lonely.” That leads them to talk about their own romance, including their post-it note wedding, which apparently infuriates their daughter, Ellis. She would much rather picture her parents in traditional wedding garb, and that’s how she chooses to draw them. As Meredith relays their daughter’s fantasy to Derek, they suddenly realize that their clothing has transformed from casual beach garb to wedding attire, complete with a white bouquet. “You hate weddings,” Derek observes, to which Meredith agrees. “I hate weddings! But I would give this to her if I could.” Given a do-over at their nuptials, Derek asks Meredith for only one thing: “To torture yourself less.” After gazing at each other in a wordless exchange of vows, Meredith finally admits that she doesn’t want to leave the kids. Derek concurs, saying he doesn’t want her to leave them either, and they finally are able to share an agonizingly slow, sweet kiss. Having finally managed to touch, Derek tells Meredith as they look out over the ocean that it’s not her time yet, and she needs to return to her life. “You have to go,” he whispers as they embrace. But ultimately, it’s not just Derek’s urging that pushes Meredith from her slumber; it’s her daughter Zola’s (Aniela Gumbs) voice, pulling her away from the beach, back to the hospital. Once Derek tells her for the last time that she needs to go back to the kids, Meredith can finally hear Zola, who Maggie (Kelly McCreary) and her fiance Winston (Anthony Hill) have snuck into Meredith’s room against hospital policy. Seeing her mom in person for the first time in months, Zola has been dutifully bringing Meredith up to speed on everything in her life, and it’s her stories of helping care for her siblings that wake Meredith up. “That’s so nice of you, Zozo,” Meredith says, opening her eyes, indicating that she heard Zola’s story of letting her brother sleep in her bed. “We love you so much,” she tells her, speaking not just for herself, but for Zola’s father, who closes out the episode walking down the beach, alone. Fans got understandably verklempt about watching Meredith and Derek have to say goodbye for what will likely be the last time. Reactions ran the full gamut, from looking back nostalgically at their long relationship to being reduced to a teeming puddle of emotions. Drained of tears after watching Grey’s Anatomy? Here are 22 uplifting movies you can stream on Netflix right now.
