As difficult as it is to experience depression, it can be just as challenging to watch someone you care about who is struggling with this mental illness. Being a caregiver for someone with depression requires knowing how to provide both emotional and physical support. And if you’re new to the role, it can be overwhelming to know where to begin. To help you get started, here’s a guide full of expert-backed tips.
How to provide emotional support to someone with depression
Here’s everything you need to know about the best ways to provide care and support to someone with depression:
Be there to listen without judgment
Talking about mental illness can be uncomfortable, so it’s important that you create a safe space for someone who is depressed to open up. “Speak to them frequently and make an effort to listen as opposed to fixing or negating,” says Dr. Gail Saltz, PhD, Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of medicine and host of the “How Can I Help?" podcast from iHeartRadio. “An example of ‘fixing’ would be to say ’tell me about how you are feeling’ … then following their response with, ‘oh it’s not really so bad,’ or, ’try this and you will feel better.’"
Try expressing your love, care, and support
Acknowledge that depression is awful and feels terrible. Support them by recommending treatment, including offers to seek out a good and appropriate therapist, and even to go with them to a first appointment, Dr. Saltz states.
If you have concerns, ask them if they feel like harming themselves
This is very important. Oftentimes, a person with depression will suffer in silence, but friends and family need to be mindful of behavior changes and make sure not to ignore them. “If they answer yes to harming themselves, ask them if they have a plan. If they don’t, remove any threats for their access and escort them to an emergency room,” Dr. Saltz explains. “Be accepting and encouraging of treatment, do not speak badly of treatment or mental illness.”
How to provide physical support to someone living with depression
Here’s how you can provide physical support to someone with depression:
Offer to help with daily tasks
Take them to a therapy appointment, help them get things done they feel too overwhelmed to do like grocery shopping, help them with self-care or home care if they are unable or just not doing it, show up and take them to dinner or to meet other friends or family who can support too, says Dr. Saltz.
Make sure they stay connected
It’s common for someone with depression to isolate, but as a caregiver, it’s crucial to make sure they stay engaged with other people. “Help them to leave the house and be with others by making arrangements and showing up to get them,” Dr. Saltz explains. “In other words, don’t take no for an answer.”
Get moving
Physical activity is a great way to improve mood. “A depressed person does not have the motivation and the energy to get up and be active,” says John P. Carnesecchi, LCSW, CEAP, Founder and Clinical Director. “It can also be severe when they don’t want to leave home. However, you can suggest making plans for different activities together—things like taking a brisk walk in a park, swimming, yoga, dancing, and gardening. Pretty much anything that involves movement, activity, and stimulation is beneficial.”
Self-care tips for caregivers to avoid burnout
As the saying goes, it’s important to buckle your own seatbelt first—so it’s important for caregivers to take care of themselves, too. Here are a few ways to do that.
Take breaks
Enlist others to help you, and treat yourself well in terms of sleep, eating, and avoiding alcohol or drugs, Dr. Saltz suggests
Make sure you have your own outlet
Being a caregiver for someone with depression can take a toll mentally and physically. “Have someone you can talk to about how you are feeling and doing,” Dr. Saltz explains.
Engage in physical activity
Movement can change the way you feel. “Try to exercise three to four times a week to destress and boost your mood,” says Dr. Saltz.
Manage your time effectively
Making sure to find balance in your life is crucial. “When life is not balanced and you have neglected yourself, you may become quite anxious and overwhelmed,” Carnesecchi states. “Plan your week, allowing time for your needs, responsibilities, and wants. As a caregiver, sometimes one may feel they are not a priority. But, on the contrary, the caregiver needs to be well to provide care.”
Take some time to enjoy simple pleasures
It’s essential to decompress from the stress of caregiving. Carnesecchi recommends simple things like reading a book, sitting quietly, meditation, and listening to music.
Get enough sleep
If you aren’t rested, it’s like trying to drive a car on an empty tank. Sleep is vital for your emotional wellness and daily functioning, Carnesecchi explains. Next up: 40 Best Books About Depression That Will Inform, Inspire, and Help You Feel Less Alone
Sources
Dr. Gail Saltz, Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of medicine and host of the “How Can I Help?" podcast from iHeartRadioJohn P. Carnesecchi, LCSW, CEAP, Founder and Clinical Director
