The lovable family movie, which made child star Macaulay Culkin a household name, became an instant classic Christmas movie in 1990—and for good reason. Not only is it jam-packed with laughs, tears and lots of hijinks, it also has some of the most memorable Christmas movie quotes. Read on for 31 of our favorite Home Alone quotes of all time. (Full disclosure: A majority of the best lines come from Kevin McCallister, because…let’s be honest, the kid delivered some of the best one-liners ever written.)
Best Home Alone Quotes
- “Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!” - Kevin
- “Keep the change, ya filthy animal.” - Gangster Johnny
- “Look what you did you little jerk.” - Uncle Frank 4. “Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi.” - Leslie
- “Buzz, your girlfriend. Woof!” - Kevin
- “You’re what the French call, ’les incompétents’” - Linnie
- “Kevin, you are such a disease.” - Jeff
- “There are 15 people in this house and you’re the only one who has to make trouble.” - Kate
- “Don’t you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?” - Buzz
- “I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!” - Buzz
- “Say…is it true French babes don’t shave their pits?” - Buzz 12. “Buzz, I’m reading through all your private stuff, you better come out and pound me!” - Kevin
- “I made my family disappear.” - Kevin
- “Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen.” - Kevin
- “Hey, I’m gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead! 1, 2, 10!” - Gangster Johnny 16. “A lovely cheese pizza. Just for me.” - Kevin
- “I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap, including all my major crevices…including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed.” - Kevin
- “Has this toothbrush been approved by the American Dental Association?” - Kevin
- “You can be too old for a lot of things, but you’re never too old to be afraid.” - Marley
- “Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?” - Santa Claus
- “This is my house. I have to defend it.” - Kevin 22. “Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?” - Marv 23. “Merry Christmas, little fella. We know that you’re in there, and that you’re all alone.” - Harry
- “You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?” - Kevin
- “Down here, you big horse’s ass. Come and get me before I call the police.” - Kevin
- “All the great ones leave their mark. We’re the wet bandits!” - Marv
- “A, I’m not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will happen. Period.” - Buzz
- “I don’t care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike! If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.” - Kate
- “Will you please tell Santa that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back.” - Kevin
- “I got you milk, eggs and fabric softener.” - Kevin
- “KEVIN!” - Kate Want more holiday fun? Check out the 12 best Christmas movies to stream on Netflix this year.
